How to relieve mental tension and stay motivated

Between work, school, and personal life it sometimes seems life is moving at a fast pace and you’re just going through the motions. Occasionally everyone goes through a period in their life that is at a standstill. Whether you feel like you’re doing everything you can or not enough, there is still the underlying issue that you’re waiting on one thing- change.  

In seeking change, we by nature want to see it happen immediately and when we don’t see change, we can become discouraged. Many times, we look for change and it is right there under our noses. The question is, how do we measure change while relieving that tension in accepting the small changes? 

Unfortunately, there is no step-by-step rule book that will tell us exactly what to do but there are a few things that significantly help. Before anything, study yourself. It sounds weird but most of the time people set for change that doesn’t fit who they are. Sometimes if we don’t know what we want to change, we look to others and go off of that. This is sure to set us up for failure and create more tension within ourselves. Take some time out and really write down what you want to change. You can even start with writing a list of things you like and dislike if it helps.  

Once you’ve got your list on paper, setting up ways to create that change will give a start to making it really happen. I personally suffer from anxiety and I certainly am not the most patient person. This makes it particularly hard when I set large, long-term goals. Because of that, I have to make sure that I keep track of the smaller goals I achieve leading up to that “bigger picture” goal. The best way I know how to give myself that reminder is to journal them. Get whatever cute looking journal you like, or a cute wallpaper on your phone that will make you want to open it up and write. If we see something appealing we’re going to naturally be drawn to it so make it worth the look.   

Now all this writing gets boring and, honestly, inefficient if you don’t put the words to action. If you listen to any successful person, you always hear them saying “go out and make moves”, or “just get up and do it”, “it’s going to tough, but do it”. For me, hearing the same lines over and over again is aggravating; especially when you’re already doing the absolute most, or at least think you are. Sometimes when people set the goal they want, getting to this part is really the one that lets people down.  

For one, if you don’t know how to “make those moves” figuring out how to start is exhausting. It takes so much sacrifice of time, mental and physical energy, that most of us don’t already have. So how do you fix not having any time or energy? For me, I look at what is taking up my time and pick and choose what is worth sacrificing for the overall goal. Whether temporarily putting something on hold, or indefinitely, that’s how I free up time. It may come with consequences but it’s all about whether it’s worth it or not. In some cases, it is and some it’s not, which leads to personal judgment.  

When you use personal judgment, you have to undoubtable trust yourself. It may seem so simple, but it’s not. By human nature, we rely on each other. Often when we have freedom to make a decision or choice we don’t know what to do with it. We want others to give us direction and put a tiny sliver of ourselves on it. However, when you have the opportunity of completely being you, and you understand how you are and how you work, it becomes a tiny bit easier putting it out there unapologetically.  

I personally believe that we are so used to following the status quo and procedure, that we don’t know that when you lead your life with confidence, everything you want in life will follow.  In any case, whoever you are or whatever you do, trusting yourself enough to take control of the things you can control is the start to manifesting the change you want to see in life.  Knowing that you are the common denominator in any situation that happens in your lifetime, will lead to a start in knowing that you can change it.