Movie Reviews – psucollegio

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy’ is good but flawed

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ theme_builder_area=”post_content” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” type=”4_4″ theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

“Lee Cronin’s The Mummy” is a lot of things. It’s a great body horror movie with excellent visuals and excellent scares. But it’s also a disjointed mess with a beginning that would turn off many viewers and a plot that takes way too long to find its footing.

Directed by Lee Cronin, it stars Jack Reynor as Charlie, Laia Costa as Larissa, and May Calamawy as Dalia. Charlie is a journalist living in Cairo, Egypt with his wife Larissa and their two kids Katie and Sebastian, with a third along the way. One day Katie is kidnapped and goes missing only to turn up eight years later after a plane crash, wrapped in cloth inside a sarcophagus. Charlie and Larissa take her back home to Albuquerque, New Mexico and try to make sense of everything while Dalia, a detective, begins to investigate further.

Overall, the story is interesting; the problem is how the viewer is shown that story. The film keeps switching back and forth and so much of it feels like an exposition dump. The viewer is given puzzle pieces that while all fitting in the end, take away from the pacing of the film. It takes about 30 minutes for the film to really start going. And almost everything after that beginning is great nonstop horror.

I did end up enjoying the movie for the most part. While not terrifying, the movie is scary and especially gory. Some scenes are absolutely shocking in how disturbing they are. What ended up surprising me the most is that with all the amazing effects, the film’s budget was only 22 million.

The acting as well is pretty good. The parents give strong performances, and the child actors are giving it their all. The family dynamic wasn’t very strong in the film and definitely was not the focus. Dalia, the detective, is probably my favorite character with the actor giving the best performance of the film.

Another issue the film has is a lack of any sort of theme. There is no reflection or message for the most part besides vague hints at guilt. The movie essentially has nothing to say; an issue further exacerbated in the rather pointless ending that adds so little to the plot.

Disappointment is a word that comes to mind when watching the film. Yes, it was scary, shocking, and disturbing, but that’s all it was. And with a genre like horror that is, contrary to popular belief, thoughtful and heavily invested in showing us reflection of society, a film like “Lee Cronin’s The Mummy” stands out as thoughtless. And while I was not disappointed in this regard, many might be when they find out this has nothing to do with Brendan Fraser’s “The Mummy” series.

Overall, I still had a good time with the film despite its heavily flawed nature. For those who thoroughly enjoy gory horror movies, this film is perfect for them. “Lee Cronin’s The Mummy” gets a 7.3 out of 10.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

‘Southbound’ is an assortment of horrors

Released in 2015, “Southbound” is a horror anthology film that leaves you not only scared but also intrigued. Each of the stories are separate, but end up weaving together perfectly to create a coherent narrative. It does something unique and lets the audience discover it.

Each of the five stories in “Southbound” have their own directors, allowing for a variety in storytelling. “The Way Out,” directed by Radio Silence, follows two men fleeing from floating monsters. “Siren,” directed by Roxanne Benjamin, features a musical band who gets stranded in the desert. “The Accident,” directed by David Bruckner presents a man who runs over someone. “Jailbreak,” directed by Patrick Horvath, follows a man looking for his lost sister. And finally, “The Way In,” directed by Radio Silence, shows a family going on vacation. All of the stories are brilliant but if I had to pick one, “The Accident” is probably my favorite.

The film not only connects the stories narratively but also thematically. They are always heading south for the most part and they never listen to the DJ on the radio. By then end more questions appear then answered, and you are left wanting more of the world shown in the film. About how this world works and the different anomalies we are shown. But I think the brilliance of the film is that these aren’t explained. The mystery isn’t ruined, and we are left to dwell on the unexplainable.

The acting is mostly great, and you can feel the fear the characters are supposed to have. Mather Zickel, who plays Lucas in “The Accident,” does an especially good job. Other actors feel kind of amateurish and some of the characters act more candid than they should.

The editing is worthwhile, and the score absolutely engrosses you into the world. While each story has its own theme, I believe the overarching themes of the films are being trapped and feelings of guilt. And that choice forces them into an unwinnable horrid situation in which they cannot come out as the person they once were. And guilt for past actions that will come to haunt the main characters forever. That if they hadn’t done that one thing, they wouldn’t be in their current situation. The ending of the film reveals deeper things about all the stories and is the most important part.

The fact that I had only heard about this film last week is a crime. It is easily one of the better horror movies released in the 2010s. The film is highly underrated, and I suggest any fan of horror movies watch it.

Overall, “Southbound” stands out as unique compared to most horror movies of the last decade. In a sea of uninspired slop, it shines among the rest. It doesn’t hold your hand, and it doesn’t overexplain itself. In the end I would give “Southbound” a 9.2 out of 10.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

‘Matchstick Men’ is nearly perfect

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]

Released in 2003 and based on a book of the same name by Eric Garcia, “Matchstick Men” is a near perfect movie. From the music, to the direction, to the acting, there is never once a moment that makes you want to pick up your phone. My only regret is that I wish I had seen it sooner.

Directed by Ridley Scott, it stars Nicolas Cage as Roy Waller, Sam Rockwell as Frank Mercer, and Alison Lohman as Angela. Roy is a conman with severe OCD and Tourette’s living in Los Angles. He, along with his partner Frank, sells overpriced water filtration systems via phone calls. Roy loses his medicine one day and finds out his doctor who has been illegally providing the drugs has left town. This causes him all sorts of issues until Frank suggests he sees a shrink to get more pills. While in therapy Roy laments about his failed marriage and the possibility that he has a child. Roy asks the shrink to call his ex, and he learns he has a daughter named Angela.

Their relationship leads to Roy being able to manage his disorders more. What might seem like a rather generic parental movie about reconnecting with loved ones, “Matchstick Men” is so much more than that. Every scene feels highly important in the development of the main characters, especially Roy. With his mannerisms and the way they are shown when he is in a crisis, the viewer also feels like they are in crisis.

Cage gives one of his best performances in this movie. Lohman also gives an excellent performance as Angela and does a pretty convincing portrayal of a 14-year-old, despite being in her 20s. The editing is perfect and the music choices are amazing as well.

The movie tackles a variety of themes, but the strongest is loneliness. Besides Frank, Roy doesn’t interact with anyone else at the beginning of the film. And those who he does interact with are the people he is conning. Despite all the money he has, he has no one. It is through that human connection with Angela that he finds new meaning in his life and a desire to change as a person. Illusions also play a big role in the story of the film. Roy and Frank create illusions of wealth to con people. They put on different personas all to make money. But illusions go way deeper than that, especially relating to the ending.

The only thing one could criticize about the movie is that it gets very outlandish near the end. But I would argue that the movie draws you in so much that you can ignore it and have an amazing watch. By the end, the movie pulls what some might call a con on the viewer though in the best way possible.

“Matchstick Men” is definitely a top-ten movie for me. I highly suggest that you watch the movie to experience it for yourself. You could not possibly regret it. “Matchstick Men” gets a 9.8/10.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

‘Leprechaun In the Hood’, deeper than you think

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ theme_builder_area=”post_content” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” type=”4_4″ theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

No matter what you think of the “Leprechaun” series, one cannot deny that they are entertaining. From its campy plot to the outright crude humor, it never bores. “Leprechaun in the Hood,” the fifth movie in the series, stays true to these core values while being different enough to stand out from the total of eight movies. And while this movie is awful and hilarious, it has a message that must be thoroughly explored.

Directed by Rob Spera, the film stars Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun, Ice-T as Mack Daddy O’Nassas, and Anthony Montgomery as Postmaster P. Set in Los Angeles, Mack Daddy is a record producer who has acquired his musical talent from the Leprechaun from whom he also stole his gold, strapping him in a frozen stone state. Meanwhile, Postmaster is a rap artist along with his two friends Stray Bullet and Butch, who are trying to make it big. Postmaster and his friends attempt to convince Mack Daddy to pick them; he refuses, citing the positive message of their music which Postmaster refuses to change. The three decide to rob Mack Daddy, getting his gold, shooting him, and awakening the Leprechaun.

This of course follows the standard “Leprechaun” film format of someone taking the gold and then the Leprechaun chasing afterwards. But it goes deeper than that. The core theme of the film is greed and its corrupting force. Mack Daddy only wants music that sells well and is marketable. Postmaster P. who originally wants to make a positive uplifting change with his music, slowly becomes consumed by the need to win the music competition. The only way these two men are able to have that power is through the Leprechaun’s golden flute, which literally forces the listener to direct their attention to the sound. The desire for the flute leads to death and misery. The Leprechaun represents the total corruption of that power as well, from his hoarding of gold to his ability to control minds. Even when it seems our hero has won, he simply becomes another puppet of greed.

But of course, the movie also has problems. The acting, besides Warwick Davis’s, is all laughably bad and absurd. The editing choices are baffling at many points, and the general quality of everything is awful. This is, however, a low budget direct to DVD movie whose production studio disbanded a year after release. So, taking everything into account, it all makes sense. The “Leprechaun” series is not something that is to be taken seriously on any level. The films are essentially cash grabs which ride off of name recognition and being able to turn a profit. And it must have been profitable because not only was another “Leprechaun” movie, but it also functioned as a direct sequel to this one and was titled “Leprechaun: Back 2 the Hood.”
Overall, I had a great time watching this movie on St. Patrick’s Day and it’s definitely worth watching, especially around friends. “Leprechaun In the Hood” gets an 8.6/10.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

Film Review: ‘Mickey 17’

Most people struggle with burnout or long hours at work. In “Mickey 17,” however, the main character faces a far greater risk: Repeatedly dying, horribly dying, every single time. Directed by Academy Award winner Bong Joon-ho, the film blends a science fiction topic, dark comedy, and meta-social satire to explore what human life is worth in a capitalistic-ruled world. With Robert Pattinson in the lead and Naomi Ackie, Steven Yeun, Mark Ruffalo, and Toni Collette supporting, the movie offers an unusual yet thought-provoking look at identity, survival, and worker exploitation in future space colonization.

The film, based on Edward Ashton’s novel “Mickey7,” follows Mickey Barnes as he accepts a risky job as an “Expendable” on a distant planet’s colonization mission. His role includes performing dangerous tasks, such as exploring hostile locations and testing high-risk equipment. Each time he dies, scientists 3-D print a new body for him and upload his memories from a brick, allowing him to return to work for his next assignment. The story begins with the seventeenth version, Mickey 17, who starts to question whether it is right for the system to treat him as disposable, as he is left for dead in a hole.

Robert Pattinson, as always, delivers yet another outstanding performance by making each version of Mickey distinct through changes in voice, body language, and emotions. This lets viewers see that, though they share memories, every Mickey is a little different. Naomi Ackie shines as a character who challenges injustice, while Steven Yeun adds depth as a fellow crew member struggling with the pressures of the mission. Mark Ruffalo and Toni Collette play the amoral leaders who view workers as replaceable slime, managing to be both charming, estranged, and unsettling.

Director Bong Joon-ho, known for “Snowpiercer,” “Okja,” and “Parasite” once again demonstrates his talent for blending genres and delivering relevant social commentary. He skillfully balances humor and tension, often pairing absurd moments with serious questions about life, ethics, and human and animal rights. The film looks striking and stark; the icy alien planet appears cold and dangerous, emphasizing the crew’s isolation and mankind’s obsession with ambition. The cloning labs and technology feature a gritty, realistic style rather than the shiny chrome-lined appearance typical of other sci-fi movies.

The writing explores complex themes. At its core, “Mickey 17” questions whether someone who is cloned again and again remains the same individual or becomes something new. The story also critiques broken and unfair economic systems that prioritize productivity and profit over human life. While these ideas are engaging, the film often loses momentum as it tries to balance philosophical exploration and world-setting flashbacks with a fast-paced sci-fi narrative.

Despite some slow moments, “Mickey 17” stands out as an original sci-fi movie. Its combination of dark humor, strong acting, and thoughtful ideas makes it memorable. Idea-driven science fiction will appreciate its bold story, while those seeking a fast-paced adventure may find it slower and more contemplative than expected.

Overall, “Mickey 17” is a bold, unique movie that continues Bong Joon-ho’s tradition of blending entertainment with awareness-raising about global social issues. Robert Pattinson’s stellar performance is a highlight of his range, and the film asks challenging questions about identity, mortality, and humanity

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

‘Iron Lung’ shocks with low budget and high praise

A surprising independent hit emerged in theaters Jan. 30 as YouTube sensation Mark Fischbach, also known as Markiplier, premiered his feature-length film “Iron Lung,” a blood-soaked sci-fi horror adaptation of an indie video game that has sparked responses from critics, Hollywood, and audiences.

“Iron Lung” follows Simon, a haunted convict tasked with piloting a rusted submarine called the Iron Lung through a vast crimson blood ocean on a desolate moon, after the cataclysmic event known as the “quiet rapture,” an apocalypse that erased all the stars and planets. What begins as a claustrophobic mission quickly becomes an unsettling psychological journey for both the character and viewers.

In spite of its humble roots, the project funded by Markiplier himself and shot on a notoriously low budget, “Iron Lung” has exceeded many expectations at a box office opening, and over 3000 theaters, the film grossed nearly $18 million during its first weekend. With global totals climbing into the mid–10 millions, these numbers for a film without a major studio backing it or a traditional marketing campaign signify a notable victory for independent cinema. Industry observers see the film’s financial performance as a direct result of Markiplier’s massive online following, which includes nearly 40,000,000 YouTube subscribers.

This film has sparked controversy amongst critics and fans alike. The critics call it ambitious but flawed. Among the mainstream critics, several negative themes reoccur; the issue of pacing and narrative thickness, bare bones execution, and the slow burn that runs for too long. Critics who responded more favorably tend to appreciate the distinctiveness of the project rather than the conventional cinematic polish, so appraised “Iron Lung” for atmospheric ambitious restraint. Even if those qualities might alienate viewers seeking a more traditional horror experience, some of the audience rallies behind the unique experience.

Several fan reviews highlighted the personal dimension Markiplier brings to work, noting that he has a long history with narrative gaming and that the horror story structure informed the movie’s mood and emotional pull. Some credit Markiplier’s ability to maintain the audience’s attention.

Markiplier’s “Iron Lung” arrives at an interesting moment in cultural history where boundary–pushing creators are increasingly crossing over from digital platforms to traditional media industry. Analysts see the films performance and mixed reception as indicator that the audience habits are evolving, blending elements of interactive media, niche fandom, and indie filmmaking. “Iron Lung” stands as one of the most significant early experiments, in what some commentators are calling Metatextual cinema. This refers to when the worlds of gaming and film influence one another. This is much like other successful films in the same category, such as “Five Nights at Freddy’s” and Amazon’s “Fallout” series.

For Markiplier himself, the experience had been transformative. Rather than resting on the comfort of his own online successes, he chose to gamble, creatively write, direct, finance, and even distribute the film on his own terms. That kind of commitment is rare in today’s industry, and even the mid mixed reviews many agree that the effort does deserve recognition for its ambition and passion.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

‘Twisted (2026)’ is absurdly perfect

Despite all the problems with “Twisted (2026),” directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, it proves to be a deeply enjoyable movie, though maybe for all the wrong reasons. Coming from the man who has directed four “Saw” movies, you can see that series’ DNA everywhere. It transcends a level beyond good or bad and needs to be seen to be believed.

“Twisted (2026)” stars Djimon Gaston Hounsou as Dr. Kezian, Lauren LaVera as Paloma, Mia Healy as Smith, and Neal McDonough as Bradshaw. Set in New York City, Paloma and Smith, lovers, run a realtor scam where they rent a house while pretending to put it out on the market, earning them tens of thousands of dollars. Paloma takes on various aliases from classic literature leading police to begin an investigation.

Meanwhile, Dr. Kezian is a world-renowned neural surgeon whose wife, who was also a doctor, passed away, and he is trying to make a breakthrough in neural transplants. Kezian is frustrated with the bureaucracy of the system and his superior Bradshaw. Paloma decides to rent Dr. Kezian’s house, which she then shows people in an attempt to scam them. A prospective buyer tries to hit her; she rejects his advances leading to a fight with Kezian sees on his cameras. He subdues the attacker and figures out Paloma’s scam. Kezian kidnaps her in an attempt to use her to advance science. All of that happens within the first 30 minutes of the movie, and it only gets crazier from there.

All the actors here are great, and you can empathize with each of them. Kezian is dealing with grief from the loss of his wife, leading him to take a drastic, but in his eyes, necessary action. Paloma is an orphan, and she only scams because it’s how she has survived all these years. They are both dealing with grief, and it’s the core theme of the film.

Hounsou’s acting especially knocks it out of the park, and he carries a lot of movies. The plot itself is full of holes, but one can overlook that because of how much fun the film has. The movie goes by fast with its 90-minute run time, and it uses all of it. The pacing is downright perfect, something a lot of movies struggle with. The editing only deepens the absurd nature of the movie with split screen shots and other unique choices. Despite its label as a horror thriller, the movie is rather hilarious. “Twisted” on most levels is not a good movie. One could even say that at points it is so bad that it is good. What it is is an entertaining movie you can completely turn your brain off to and enjoy the complete absurdity of.

In a sense, there aren’t a lot of movies like that anymore, with of course the closest comparison being the “Saw” franchise. Movies that are supposed to be these bloody horror-filled thrillers end up being intentionally hilarious. Overall, if you are looking for something to just mindlessly enjoy with friends or family, “Twisted (2026)” is perfect for that. On a pure enjoyment-based rating, it gets an 8.1/10.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

‘Primate,’ lots of monkey business

When watching the movie “Primate,” my first thought was “Wow, people still think apes can learn languages,” and my second one was, “That’s about what I expected.” It’s a mediocre horror movie though fair warning there is a lot of gore.

Directed by Johannes Roberts, “Primate” stars Johnny Sequoyah as Lucy Pinborough, Jessica Alexander as Hannah, and Troy Kotsur as Adam Lucy’s father. Lucy and her friend Kate are flying home from college to Hawaii when it’s revealed Hannah Kate’s friend is also coming, much to Lucy’s annoyance. They meet up with Nick and all four head to Lucy’s house. They arrive home and meet Adam, who is deaf, and also a novelist, along with Erin, Lucy’s younger sister, who is upset that she has been gone for so long.

Ben the chimp then pops up, and it’s revealed he can communicate through a soundboard, and was taught by Lucy’s deceased mom. Ben and Hannah interact near the pool where Ben begins to act aggressively. Adam finds a dead animal in Ben’s cage the next morning along with a bite mark on Ben. Adam calls a vet to check on Ben before leaving to go to a book signing. Ben kills the vet, escapes the cage, and begins attacking everyone at the house. They all go into the pool for safety, because Ben has rabies. They stay in that pool for a while trying to come up with a plan.

The best thing “Primate” has going for it is its rather atypical premise, which is the most redeeming thing it has. Besides that the movie has major flaws. There is no discernible theme at all in the movie besides maybe a vague notion of family. But this gets thrown out when you realize Ben was a part of the family. So, is the message not to adopt chimps into your family? Additionally, the film is 90 minutes and could have easily been shorter.

At a lot of points, you feel bad for Ben, which really takes away from the horror elements. I thought it was kind of stupid that he was going out of his way to fully brutalize all his victims. He has rabies. He should be a wild crazed animal, not a killer that is hunting his victims. The acting is a really mixed bag and there are too many characters for the movie to juggle. The gore and special effects were really good though, and might leave some queasy. The film is good if you’re not looking for something super deep and just want to have some dumb fun.

Overall, I thought “Primate” was okay. There are always going to be far worse movies someone could be spending their money on, and it’s not a bad choice. If you like gory horror movies that make little to no sense at all, this movie is for you. If you at all care about the monkey like I did, maybe it’s not. “Primate” gets a 5.8 out of 10.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

New movie Wrecking Crew hits the big island with a crash on Prime

Amazon Prime recently released a new movie titled “Wrecking Crew” starring Jason Momoa and Dave Bautista. Most of the movie takes place in Hawaii with a few scenes in Oklahoma. The movie is hilarious if you can handle violence and explicit language. 5/5 stars for me.

The movie is described as a buddy cop action comedy film in terms of genre but just feels more like an action comedy. Momoa’s character may technically be a cop, but that is not particularly relevant. Neither is Bautista’s role being a higher up in the Navy. The only part of their characters’ careers that were relevant was the martial and weapons training they received from it, making each of them able to easily take on their attackers in hand to hand.

The secondary villain is introduced early in the movie when Momoa’s character Jonny Hale is attacked in his own home, while using the restroom no less, by a couple of Yakuza thugs looking for some mysterious package from his long-estranged father. He was joking around the whole time he was beating the stuffing out of these thugs until one of them messed with the shrine he had for his late mother. After that, the joking immediately stopped and was followed by utter rage and brutality. To top the whole thing off, he was drunk and drinking through the whole fight because his girlfriend had just left him earlier that day.

Dave Bautista plays Momoa’s older half-brother, US Navy Seal James Hale. He is a very serious character who has a loving family. Already, the two men were vastly different from each other, but then their father Walter Hale is killing in a hit and run so they must tolerate each other long enough to figure out who killed their father.

They are both Native Hawaiian, and as such have a fierce loyalty to their island and culture. The island and their culture are in trouble with the arrival of Claes Bang as Marcus Robichaux looking to develop a part of the island where a large community of native Hawaiians are, with mentions of a casino. Gambling is outlawed in Hawaii, so any mention of a casino or gambling is shocking to them.

Jason Momoa has had a lot of serious roles in his career, and while that excludes his recent role as Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison in the Minecraft Movie, this role was something else. Not to mention how different Dave Bautista’s recent role of Drax from “Guardians of the Galaxy” is from his character in this movie.

Whoever wrote the dialogue of the two brothers bickering with each other and even their small interactions together are spot on for how brothers act and talk. Down to them exchanging blows at one point. One set of dialogue perfectly encapsulates it. James asked if Jonny ever shut up; Jonny replied with the very mature reply of farting sounds. James got the last word when he asked his brother, “What do you charge to not talk?” Perfect capturing of a brotherly moment. There were some parts of the dialogue that could be included as the movie has an R rating for a reason. Not only because of the vivid on-screen violence, but the dialogue is very explicit.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

‘We Bury the Dead’ is Braindead

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ theme_builder_area=”post_content” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”1px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” type=”4_4″ theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]

“We Bury the Dead” is perhaps the emptiest nothing movie I have watched in a long time. It is worse than bad, it is in fact, nothing. Nothing is the worst thing a movie can be.

The film is directed by Zak Hilditch and stars Daisy Ridley as Ava, Brenton Thwaites as Clay, and Mark Coles Smith as Riley. The movie is set in Tasmania after America accidentally launches a new experimental weapon resulting in the city of Hobart being destroyed and leaving the remaining population brain dead. But of course, some are still alive and might as well be zombies.

Ava is an American who has volunteered to help with the clean-up of the area in hopes of finding her husband’s body. She is assigned with Clay, a local in the area who, besides being cool-looking, has no personality. They are tasked with going into houses to find dead bodies and then alert the military of the ones that are alive. Ava wants to go looking in the area her husband was in, so the two find a motorcycle and ride off before encountering Riley, a member of the military who says he will help them. While all of this is happening, we see flashbacks of Ava and her husband before he went away to Tasmania.

It’s simple, and with a run time of around 90 minutes, you’d think it would be nice and straight to the point. But for some reason, it takes forever for anything to happen, and feels double the length. One-third of the film is spent on the opening scenes of corpses being dragged around. It’s so utterly boring and it’s not even scary. Things happen in the movie, but it feels like nothing happens.

The ending isn’t great either, dragging on for way too long. Essentially, Riley kidnaps Ava and tries to make her his wife, but she kills him. She meets back up with Clay and they find her husband’s body. It’s revealed that Ava cheated on her husband and that’s why he left for Tasmania. Then Ava and Clay ride off. It’s supposed to be emotional, but it’s so hard to care about these characters or their lives.

The acting is alright; Ridley gives a good enough performance. The film’s atmosphere is pretty good along with the general setting being nice to look at. But then again, I didn’t sacrifice 90 minutes of my life just to watch a pretty screensaver.

What shocks me the most is the positive attitude many have toward the film. Personally, I think this has to do with the general rejection horror movies get from the mainstream compared to other genres. To some, “We Bury the Dead” is unique and different, and therefore worthy of praise. But to me if a horror movie isn’t scary, if it isn’t giving a deep message, and if it isn’t entertaining, it has failed. Do not watch this movie, you would be wasting 90 minutes of your life that you can never get back. I give “We Bury the Dead” a 4.3 out of 10.

[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]