A group of students is turning grief into purpose, creating something lasting in memory of a friend who made everyone around him feel seen.
For junior nursing major Grace Pelfrey, that friend was Gabe Wightman.
Pelfrey met Gabe through her fiancée, Samantha Mack, during her freshman year. Their friend group formed through shared connections, late nights, and time spent together on campus, but Gabe’s presence stood out from the start.
“Gabe was the last to join our friend group,” Pelfrey said. “He was a little more reserved, but he was your typical all-American boy.”
An Eagle Scout, a Computer Information Systems major, and a trombone player in the Pride of the Plains Marching Band, Gabe was known not just for what he did, but for how he made people feel.
“Gabe was the kind of person that took weight off your chest,” she said. “When he walked into the room, everything felt lighter.”
That quiet, steady presence earned him the reputation among friends as the ‘dad’ of the group. The one who showed up, helped out, and made sure everyone was okay.
“One time, after the Christmas Parade, he drove us all to Sonic to get 99-cent corn dogs,” Pelfrey said. “Everyone was so cold because they had been out in the freezing temperatures, and Gabe made sure we ate afterwards.”
It wasn’t just his close friends who felt his warm impact.
“Everyone knew Gabe without really knowing him,” she said. “When he passed, we had so many people we had never met come up and tell us how he made them feel welcomed in class or would soften the air with a joke.”
The loss of Gabe to suicide left a profound impact on those who knew him. In the midst of that grief, Pelfrey and her friends began searching for a way to honor his life, not just in memory, but in action.
“We wanted to advocate for mental health, especially in men,” she said, “and do it in a way that supports something he loved, which was marching band.”
What began as a small bake sale to help cover funeral expenses quickly grew into something larger. Baking had always been something the group loved doing together, and it became the foundation for a larger mission.
After connecting with financial aid staff and leaders in the music department, the group established a privately funded scholarship for a marching band student, one that reflects not just achievements, but character.
“The criteria is that the member ‘lives like Gabe,’” Pelfrey said. “Someone who has the heart of a Gorilla. Someone who prides themselves on good, moral behavior and being the kind of person that makes the world a better place.”
The scholarship is awarded annually at the band banquet, with recipients chosen based on their actions, leadership, and the way they contribute to those around them.
“We choose the recipient based on their behavior and contributions during the marching season,” she said. “Working closely with the director gives us a good sense of who to choose each year.”
Through it all, the process has been met with support from the campus community, something Pelfrey says has made a difficult journey a little easier.
“Everyone was very helpful to us,” she said.
But beyond the scholarship, beyond the bake sales and planning, the group’s mission is grounded in something deeper: A message they hope continues to spread through campus.
“I hope that it serves as a reminder that mental health matters,” Pelfrey said. “Check on your friends. But most of all, be a good human. It costs nothing to be kind, and the world needs more kindness.”
She hopes that in the years to come, Gabe’s name continues to spark conversation, not just about loss, but about the way he lived.
“I hope people ask, ‘Who is Gabe Wightman?’” she said. “And people will have stories to share and positive memories to propel each other forward.”
For Pelfrey, Gabe’s legacy is not defined by how he died, but by how he lived, as someone genuine, selfless, and deeply committed to lifting others.
“I hope he is remembered as a leader, a lover, and a blueprint,” she said. “Gabe was so genuine. There is so much we can learn from the way he lived.”
And for those who may be struggling, she wants that message to be clear.
“You are never alone,” Pelfrey said. “As cliché as it seems, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t seek out a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter how lost you feel, it is temporary. You are strong, you are loved, you have purpose.”